Stop Sabotaging Yourself At Work

Hi there,

Sometimes when things are not going well at work we are quick to blame others. If only they would change! If only they would leave us alone! If only they would find work somewhere else! If only!

But what if we are at fault?

Last week, Vancouver Sun columnists and psychologists, Jennifer Newman and Darryl Grigg, wrote about how we often sabotage ourselves at work. 

Newman and Grigg identified the following six common behaviors that get in the way of having a happy and a healthy workplace:

• harboring resentments (if someone or something bugs you do something about it…NOW!)
• defensiveness (if someone is trying to tell you something…listen! Don’t get defensive)
• negative self-talk (this is one that can undermine your self-confidence)
• ledger keeping (stop comparing yourself to others–this relates to #1 harbouring resentments)
• feuds and grudges (if you have a legitimate reason to be afraid try and talk with your boss or someone from human resources…holding grudges will create stress and will lead to more unhappiness.
• fears (what is holding you back?)

Newman and Grigg recommend that if we are experiencing any of the above that we stop and make changes in our lives.

This, of course, is excellent advice.

But, as most of us probably know, changing our behavior is not easy. In fact, it can be downright impossible if we don’t know how we are behaving in the first place.

I’ve been interested in how people change for a long time (no I won’t tell you how old I am:) 

The first challenge that we face when trying to modify or stop our self- sabotaging behaviors is RECOGNIZING them.

According to Dr. Christian Guenette, “the majority of your life (up to 95%) is experienced at the level of the subconscious”.

So, what can we do?

The Johari Window is one tool that is often used in workplaces to help people to find out what their blind spots are. Blind spots are those behaviors that are unknown to us.

The Johari Window was created by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955.

The “window” has four panes in it:

• known to self and known to others (makes it easier to change if you are willing to accept some feedback)
• known to self but not known to others (things you want kept secret)
• not known to self but known to others (your blind spots)
• not know to self and not known to others (hmmmm)

If you go to Wikipedia and search for Johari Window you will find some instructions on how to use this in the workplace.

Enjoy your weekend!

Lesley

Hugging in the Workplace

Hi, I was listening to the radio awhile ago and learned that today (January 21) is International Hug Day.

As is my usual habit I decided to dig for more information on the internet. International Hug Day was “born in the USA in 1986″. I’m not sure who came up with the idea but it didn’t take long for the idea to “take off” and spread around the world.

Since 1986 there has been a lot written about the health benefits of hugging:

• hugging is good for your heart
• hugging reduces blood pressure
• hugging reduces stress levels

Basically, being hugged on a regular basis is good for your overall health.

Now, when it comes to hugging in the workplace you need to consider a few things:

First of all whether or not hugging is acceptable at work will depend on your workplace culture.

Workplace culture refers to those “things”, both tangible and intangible, that make your workplace unique. Is your workplace male or female oriented? Do you work in a sawmill or a daycare centre? Is your workplace formal and conservative (think banking) or is it informal and liberal (think design studio)?

Don’t make assumptions! Things are not always what they seem to be and even in male dominated cultures certain indivduals may be comfortble with hugging. Or vice-versa.  Let’s not stereotype women either. Not all women like to hug.

Second, hugging is a very individual thing. Some people like to be hugged and see hugging as a friendly gesture. Others are not comfortable and would prefer to shake hands, or not be touched at all.

Third, hugging is a cultural thing…as in it may be more acceptable in certain countries and among certain nationalities.

Of course there are different ways to give a hug. Standing beside someone and putting your arm around their shoulders is probably the least offensive way of giving someone a squeeze.

According to Patricia Mathews hugging is not illegal but could be viewed as harassment if the person being hugged is not receptive.

So, bottom line…hugging is a good thing but only if the person you are intent on hugging is in agreement. Children are included in this and they will let you know in no uncertain terms if they DON’T want to be hugged.

Lesley

Healing the Workplace With Yoga and Meditation

First of all I have to say “Go Canucks Go”!

I watched my favorite team beat the Pittsburgh Penguins last night. It’s always fun to watch the Canucks win but I would have liked to see Sidney Crosby score a goal or two. Sidney is a great Canadian hockey player AND he’s one of my hockey pool picks.

Second, I want to talk about YOGA. I went to a 1 and 1/2 hour yoga class yesterday morning… at…www.stevestonvillageyoga.com

I usually do yoga at home but hadn’t been to a class for many, many years so I decided to go to Steveston Village Yoga. Yesterday’s class was wonderful (thanks Joy) and got me thinking about the importance of doing yoga at work.

For many people work is crazy these days. A friend of mine mentioned the other day that there are fewer and fewer people doing more and more of the work. Which leaves a lot of folks without jobs…which is insane but that is another story.

Actually this other story is about how the workplace in need of healing on many, many levels…but I digress.

So, for those who are literally “in the rat race” there are some things that you can do to look after yourself and yoga is one of them.

Of course it would be even better if you can get your employer onside to support you so that you could have the benefits of a trained yoga instructor.

If you need some “ammunition” when you approach your boss the Yoga Sanctuary, www.theyogasanctuary.net has this to say about the benefits of practicing yoga in the workplace:

• improves morale
• increases production and communicatin
• increases concentration
• decreases anxiety and tension
• decreases sick time and absences
• increases the individual’s ability to manage emotional stress

PS. While you are doing yoga you will also be meditating AND research has shown that doing meditation on a regular basis helps strengthen your immune system.

Most towns and cities offer yoga classes and yoga instructors who will be happy to come to your workplace.

Let the healing begin!

Oh, I did some work with a team re shared decision-making last week…which I will write about later this week.

Lesley

Free E-book on Leadership

Hi there, as we all know leadership is the key to healing the workplace. There are a great many resources available for those wanting to improve their leadership abilities. Here’s the latest one!

Check out this website for a free e-book on holistic leadership. www.leadershipworldconnect.com

The e-book is only free this week and then you’ll have to pay for it.

Enjoy!

Lesley

Happy New Year!

Hi there, how are you doing today? It’s December 31st and the end of the first decade of the 21st century. It’s been a decade full of turmoil and uncertainty.

In the West, daily, we are bombarded with news of the negative events that happen in our world.

But we also hear more and more stories of the good things that people are doing to help each other. There is hope but we all need to get involved in making our workplaces, our communities and our world better for all of us.

If we are really blessed we work for an organization that helps us to do this.

I’m spending New Year’s Eve with friends in Victoria. My partner and I are staying at the Marriott Hotel. We love the location and this time the hotel manager has put us on the 15th floor. We have a “birds eye view” of Victoria harbour, the Empress Hotel and the B. C. Legislature which is lit up at night. 

I like staying at the Marriott when I travel. The staff are from all over the world and they are really great.

A few years ago the hotel published a book with stories about their “associates”. If you go to www.marriott.com and click on “our stories” you can read some of them.

The Marriott prides itself on having a “spirit to serve culture”.

The stories mentioned above focus on:

• overcoming adversity
• embodying a passion for service
• achieving personal excellence

Although they don’t come out and state it the Marriott is focused on the “triple bottom line”. People, profits and community.

Today I’m going to ramble a bit.  December was a slow month for me. We went to Mexico and stayed at the Barcelo Colonial Resort. I’m fortunate enough to have money to travel to exotic resorts and stay in great hotels. Once in awhile anyway.

One thing that struck me while I was at the resort was that the people working there seemed to be enjoying themselves. I watched their interactions with the managers. They seemed to respect each other and appeared to be having fun.

Wishing you all the best in 2010.

Cheers,

Lesley

The Ultimate Workplace

Hi, are you curious about the “ultimate workplace”? 

Each year Profit Magazine features the fastest growing workplaces. These are workplaces that know how to attract and retain employees and they use a variety of ways to do this, for example:

• flex time (not a new concept but a proven one)
• creative opportunities to innovate (and reward people for doing so)
• employ the 80/20 rule (this one borrowed from CQI?). This call centre business was concerned about employee burn-out (how nice) and so allowed employees to “spend20% of their time doing something different than their regular jobs…and it works…employee turnover dropped dramatically
• trust your employees to know what they need to learn and then help them out financially
• continually challenge employees so that they can develop new skills (have them learn and then teach someone else)
• have fun (seriously)
• hold a quarterly team building afternoon
• let them have pie (also know as giving employees a piece of the company)

The feature article was about Wellington West Holdings, Inc. in Winnipeg.

Every employee at Wellington West is offered a share in the company. Check them out at www.wellwest.ca

Their motto, “we remember it is better to be an owner than to be owned”.

The ultimate workplace indeed!!!

Cheers, Lesley

Terminating Employees — Worst Case Scenarios!

Well, I’ve heard it all. Yesterday I learned that the Fraser Health Authority in B. C. terminated a group of workers. 

So, big deal. People are terminated all the time.  Yes they are…but not in a group setting!

That’s right. The workers were all herded into a room and told that they no longer had jobs. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised what with all the terminations that are going on in health care right now.

Who has time to tell people one-on-one that they have lost their jobs?

When I hear these stories I wonder about the impact of the people who have to “soldier on”. Those employees who are “lucky” enough to hold onto their jobs. The ones that will now have to do “more with less”.

And what about the clients, patients, customers? What kind of service can they expect to receive?

And what about productivity? I know from experience that major restructuring and terminations  create fear and anxiety in those left behind. The rumour mill runs wild. People “circle the wagons” and focus on protecting themselves from a similar fate.

I would be interested in learning just exactly which values guide the Fraser Health Authority.  Respect doesn’t seem to be one of them.

David Noer wrote his classic book, Healing the Wounds, for a reason.

Organizations that fail to respond to the needs of people left behind leave themselves open to ongoing problems:

• hostility
• grief
• anxiety
• loss of innovation and creativity
• mistrust in the organization
• poor teamwork
• loss of management credibility
• poor quality services to customers
• loss of energy
• loss of spirit
• etc. etc. etc.

Try and have a good week! Lesley

 

Say You’re Sorry And Rebuild Trust In Your Workplace

HI there,  Why is it that Canadians are always saying “We’re sorry?” Where did this need to apologize come from? I have no idea but I did ask Google and discovered on online dialogue about this very subject. Could it be that we are just trying to be polite?

I’m sorry (whoops there I go again) if I’m belabouring the point but perhaps Canadians are on to something here.  Being able to apologize can go a long way toward having healthy relationships.

Given the amount of time most of us spend with other people every day, this should be a priority for everyone.

In fact  there seems to be a growing interest in the role that apology can play in creating a healthy, functional workplace.

This weekend I came across a new book called “Effective Apology: Mending Fences, Building Bridges, Restoring Trust” by Jon Kador.

If you check out Jon’s website you can also complete a quiz that tests your Apology Quotient or AQ. I barely passed the quiz and was told that I need to work on my apology skills. Hmmmm. I seem to be apologizing all the time–perhaps there’s something more?

When was the last time you told someone at work that you were sorry?

There are numerous reasons why it is important to apologize when you have done something wrong. Apart from the obvious strengthening of your relationships you may find there are other benefits.

This is especially true if you are in a leadership position. According to a study conducted by the Queen’s University School of Business in Kingston, Ontario,

“leaders who apologize consistently, when they have made mistakes, are seen to be more transformational, ethical, influential, trustworthy, caring and considerate.”

And if that is not a strong enough reason for leaders to apologize consider this,

“executives who apologize earn more than executives who never apologize”.

So what can we do? Well no matter who you are it is important to both know how to apologize and also to know how to accept an apology. Let’s start with how to go about apologizing effectively:

• Make in genuine
• Don’t justify your actions
• Make a commitment to change
• Choose your words carefully
• Be prepared for the unexpected

You can’t control how the other person will react but at least you will have done your part.

Lesley

Reducing Work-Life Conflict

Hi there,

The interet is a wonderful place indeed. Earlier today I was reading Alive Magazine when I came across an interesting statistic about workplace stress:

“83% of Canadians report stress related to employment, including workload, wages, and job security.”

Being the curious person that I am I decided to do a Google search to see if I could find out more details, which led me to the Canadian Mental Health Association site.

This is a great site with lots of links to articles and reports.

One report which caught my eye was called, “Reducing Work-Life Conflict: What Works? What Doesn’t?” It was written by Dr. Chris Higgins, Dr. Linda Duxbury and Sean Lyons and funded by Health Canada.

The report was based on research involving 31, 000 employees across Canada.

According to Linda Duxbury, “More and more workers are finding it difficult to balance the roles of employee, parent, spouse, and eldercare giver.” This work-life conflict is taking its toll on workers, families and employers.

One thing that isn’t mentioned here is that many of these people also do community or service work and without them our communities would be in trouble.

The report looks at the roles and responsibilities of employees and employers and paints are rather negative picture of large employers in Canada.

“The majority of Canada’s largest employers cannot be considered to be best practice employers: Only about half of the employees who participated in this study were highly committed to their employer, satisfied with their job, and viewed their organization as an above average place to work. One in three rated high levels of stress and one in four were thinking of leaving their jobs.”

The report focused on four areas:

• organizational interventions
• individual coping strategies
• family coping straties

How are you coping with work and family demands? What, if anything, is your organization doing to help you?

Lesley

Stress Is An Organizational Problem

Good morning to you all!

I haven’t written about stress in the workplace for awhile.  This week a colleague emailed me an article from www.working.com about the effects of stress on bosses in the workplace. But first let me digress!

A few years ago I had the pleasure of meeting and working with Marci Cohen. At that time Marci was a leader with the Hospital Employees Union in B.C. and Marci was on a mission. She had the goal of helping thousands of health care employees (front line) fight workplace stress.

When I first met Marci she had just finished putting the final touches on a program called The Anti Stress Initiative which involved education & training of union employees and health care leaders.

What was unique about The Anti Stress Initiative was its strong emphasis on the need for organizational change.

At the time that Marci began working on The Anti Stress Initiative there was a growing awareness, backed by research, that dealing with workplace stress was as much the responsibility of the organization as it was of the individual worker.

Prior to that time it was widely believed that individuals were responsible for dealing with stress on their own.  

“The only way to really reduce toxic stress is to change the work and change the workplace.”  … the Workplace Anti-stress Guide

The Whitehall Study, a famous research project, was cited in the Anti-stress Guide.

What made the Whitehall Study famous was that it established a clear link between social hierarchy, stress, and health in the workplace. It tracked 18,000 male English civil servants (now there’s term that could use some updating) for two decades. Secretaries, filing clerks, senior managers and everyone in between took part in this study.

The main findings of The Whitehall Study were that

“the lower a worker’s position in the hierarchy, the greater his or her likelihood of suffering from angina, chronic bronchitis, heart and circulatory problems, and other stress-related conditions.”

Employees were at risk if they had jobs with high demands but little control over their work.

This can be explained in another way:

People are under a lot of stress when they have a high-strain job. A high-strain job is one where you face many demands and have little control and support.

A low-strain job is one where you face demands and have a good measure of control and support.

Guess what? People in low-strain jobs are less likely to suffer from the negative effects of chronic stress.

The Whitehall Study put managers in the low-strain category.

However, recently researchers at the University of Toronto have discovered that “being the boss can take its toll on health”.

More about this in the next post! Enjoy your weekend!                                    Lesley