Bad Vibes at Work

Hello again!

I’ve just been reading a book called “Trust Your Vibes at Work” by Sonia Choquette. Sonia is probably not someone you might think of approaching if you are having difficulties at work.

You see Sonia is a vibrational healer and spiritual teacher. 

Most of us will be familiar with the term “bad vibes” to describe the feelings we get when we are sensing that things aren’t right.

Sonia’s ideas are worth trying and sometimes we need to ”think outside the box” when dealing with difficult people at work.

Sonia states that,

“one of the greatest challenges people in the workplace face is staving off bad vibes.”

Bad vibes can leave us feeling irritated, depressed, defensive and even leave us doubting our own value and ability.

The author of “Trust Your Vibes at Work” has the following suggestions for dealing with bad vibes when they show up:

1. Identify the problem. Bad vibes and the person who creates them are like the elephant in the room. Everyone knows what’s happening but no-one wants to acknowledge that the problem exists.

2. Admit that you are feeling negative and take conscious steps to turn this around. “Taking responsibility for the energy you bring to the workplace is the most proactive step you can take in assuring good vibes at work.”

But what if being positive isn’t enough and you are still feeling negative vibes?

As a coach I often recommend that people do an exercise to identify what they are tolerating in their lives. Tolerations are the things that we put up with on a day-to-day basis. These are things like:

• gossip at work,
• people taking things out of our office and not returning them
• people borrowing money and not paying us back
• co-workers not doing their fair share of work on a project
• bosses taking credit for our work
• watching someone get bullied and not speaking up…you get the idea!

We all tolerate things we shouldn’t. Sometimes it just isn’t important enough to say anything. Remember the old adage, “pick your battles”?

As children we are taught to make the best of what we’ve got in life and not complain. And as adults we find that it is just easier to leave things alone than to try and change something.

Of course there is a downside to all of this! Tolerating things we shouldn’t saps our energy and causes stress.

What can we do ? We can follow Sonia’s advice and take responsibility for our own energy BUT we can also do something to stop tolerating what we shouldn’t.

Try this exercise:

Make a list of ten things that you are tolerating at work. Now ask yourself these questions:

1. How much would my life improve if all the things I am tolerating were gone?

2. How am I benefiting by putting up with the things that I’m tolerating?

3. Ask yourself what is really getting in the way of addressing these things?

Finally, take one thing on your list and do something about it this week. Next week do something else. It won’t be long before your energy shifts and you notice those bad vibes less and less.

Let me know if this helps! Cheers, Lesley!

More About Friendships at Work

Hi, last week I wrote about friendships at work. I should probably be writing about the impact of all the layoffs that are happening due to the economic meltdown…but not today.

In last Saturday’s Vancouver Sun, Shannon Proudfoot wrote about how face-to-face friendships are in decline. She cited Statistics Canada and a 2006 study from Duke University and the U of Arizona.

Here is a startling fact:

the number of people who have no one with whom they can discuss important matters nearly doubled between 1984 and 2004.

The sad thing about layoffs (getting back to that subject) is that people lose touch with the friends that they have made at work.

Perhaps it depends on how and why you are “let go”. If you are layed off due to financial reasons that weren’t your doing it may be easier to stay in touch with people that you work with.

So, our “friendship networks” are shrinking. People are working longer hours or working two jobs and spending more time commuting. People are also spending more time with their families.

The one place where adults typically develop friendships is in the workplace.

Do organization encourage friendships to develop? There is a lot of talk (in HR circles) about employee engagement and about how “engaged” employees are more productive, which I suppose translates into more profit or reduced costs.  

Most friendships develop without the help of the organization but there are things that leaders and HR folk can do to make it easier:

• be aware of the organization’s “climate” and how it helps or hinders the development of friendships.
• have clearly stated organizational values and hire people who have similar values
• recognize the diversity of the organization’s workforce and help employees learn about what makes them different (culture, race, religion, gender, age, education, etc. etc.)
• focus on community and team building
• recognize that interpersonal conflict is normal and help people to learn how to deal with conflict at work
• provide opportunities for celebrations–great for bringing people together on a social basis

Having at least one or two close friends to confide in is good for your health. Having friendships at work makes work more satisfying and interesting.

Bye for now!

Lesley

Friendship in the Workplace

Hi and Happy New Year!

How many of you have a friend at work? Some of my closest friends are people I met in the workplace. Since we spend most of our waking hours working it makes sense to get to know the people you work with. It’s even better if you have a good relationship with them.

I have to comment on a recent episode of the sitcom The Office. The manager was summoned to the corporate office to meet with one of the senior managers.

As an aside, if you’ve ever watched The Office you’ll know that the employees all work together in a cramped, open office. They also appear to be good friends. This, of course, is encouraged by their manager and is one of the reasons that they are so productive.

Getting back to the story…unbeknownst to them they are the MOST PRODUCTIVE of all the sales teams but when the senior leader asks the manager what he is doing right he doesn’t know OR at least he can’t explain it.

What he is doing right is that he has developed strong relationships with his employees and he encourages them to be friends with each other.

Friendships at work benefit BOTH employees and employers. Employees who have a “best friend” at work are more likely to “be engaged in their work, get more done in less time, have fewer accidents and are more likely to innovate and share new ideas”.

An employees satisfaction jumps by almost 50% when he or she has a close relationship with someone at work.

Developing and maintaining these relationships is key to creating a strong, productive workgroup. How easy is this? Apparently not very…

The Gallup organization has been doing research into employee engagement since the late 1990’s. In 2004 they released the following information based on research that had been done between 2000 and 2004. Of the adults that were surveyed…

• 29% felt engaged in their work/workplace
• 54% did not feel engaged
• 17% were actively disengaged

Employers, managers, leaders and supervisors certainly have a role to play in creating a workplace climate that supports the development of friendships.

Employees also have a role to play. Here are a few tips from Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen on how to be a good friend:

1. Spend time together.
2. Make friends a priority.
3. Be there for the good and the bad.
4. Don’t keep score.
5. Notice the little stuff.
6. Focus on the positive.

I think that in today’s uncertain economic climate it is even more critical to have a “best friend” at work or at least someone you can confide in. Apart from all the things that I mentioned above, having someone to confide in will help keep your stress in check when things look uncertain.

Lesley

PS If you are still not convinced of the benefit of having a friend at work here’s an additional bonus.

If your best friend has a healthy diet you are FIVE times more likely to eat healthy yourself.