Posted by: healingtheworkplace | November 2, 2009

Emotional Vampires in the Workplace!

Hi! I first heard the term “emotional vampires” a few years ago. At that time I had one of these vampires in my own life!

Now Judith Orloff, M.D. has written a book on the subject. The book is called, “Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life” and it is a New York Times bestseller.

Emotional vampires can be family members, friends or co-workers. 

According to Dr. Orloff the best defense, as always, is a good offense. In order to rid yourself of these emotional vampires you first must learn how to recognize them. Only then can you decide how to stop them from “feeding off you”.

There are five types of emotional vampires that you need to guard against:

The Narcissist — this person needs you to fulfill their needs. They are completely self-centered and will find any excuse to talk about themselves, seek compliments etc.

The Victim — this person will wear you down with their “poor me” attitude. Believe me they can be extremely annoying and exhausting to be around. The victim won’t take responsibility (probably has no insight) for their behavior and believe that the world is against them. 

The Controller — this person will try to control you and tell you want to do and how to feel. They can dominate and suffocate you.

The Criticizer — this person will put themselves down and everyone else as well. Nothing is right with the world and they are happy to tell you about how awful everything is.

The Splitter — this vampire sees people in black and white. Unconsciously they turn people against each other.

Interestingly, according to Dr. Orloff we attract these lovely people into our lives when we are vulnerable and unhappy. AND the danger is that we can turn into vampires ourselves if we are not careful.

So, read the book and watch for the vampires in your workplace.                      Lesley

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